Apologies
by Viperdae
Summary: Sometimes play-fighting gets out of hand and you accidentally murder your best friend. And then you have to go to the ends of the universe to fix it. ZADF.


"Stupid, clumsy, smelly, dumb."

There was a brief pause and Dib thought maybe Zim was done, but he continued.

"Stinky, foolish, annoying, stupid-"

"You said that one already," interrupted Dib tiredly.

"WELL YOU ARE! YOU HIDEOUS, WRETCHED-!"

"I get it! Geez! I said I'm sorry! How long are you going to whine about this?"

Dib immediately regretted saying that, as Zim's scream of anger filled the Voot, distorted by the ship's speakers into a loud crackling. Zim's pak was wired into the ship, just under the dashboard, as his body remained back on earth, damaged beyond all use.

"WHINE? Zim is not WHINING! Zim is still FURIOUS at you for MURDERING HIM!"

"I know, I know," Dib sank back into the seat, sighing. "I keep telling you it was an accident. I really thought you'd dodge that, and there's no way I could've predicted that explosion that happened after..."

"I should destroy your pathetic meat-sack to make things fair," came the hissing reply from the Voot's speakers.

"That wouldn't be fair, Zim," Dib replied evenly, but he cast a few nervous glances around the ship. Zim was controlling the Voot through his pak, guiding them to their destination. The human hoped there weren't any tubes or cords Zim could control and use to strangle him in his seat. "We'll get you a new body and everything will be fine. There's no fixing things if you kill me."

"Hm. We'll see," grumbled Zim.

Dib rolled his eyes, but he wasn't too worried. Their friendship had weathered a lot over the past few years, and while this was certainly pushing things, he didn't think Zim would murder him in revenge. Probably. He'd certainly have to watch his back for the next little while. Just to be careful.

Speaking of which... "How long until we get there?"

Zim made an irritated noise. "Five days, three hours, forty-seven minutes and seventy-two seconds."

"Uh, there are sixty sec-"

"Zim knows that! Don't be stupid!" Zim screeched indignantly.

"Right," Dib rolled his eyes, used to this kind of behavior. That did seem a bit stupider than usual though. "Are you... uh, feeling okay, Zim? Your pak did seem a bit damaged."

The uncomfortably long pause told Dib he'd said something wrong, though he didn't understand what it was. He braced himself for the alien's scream of anger but still ended up wincing when it came.

"Zim's pak is NOT DAMAGED! It's PERFECT, like ZIM IS!" The speakers crackled at the volume of the alien's voice and the ship jerked suddenly, throwing Dib out of his chair and slammed him painfully into the glass.

"How DARE you imply-"

"Damnit Zim, I was just worried about you, okay? It's what friends do, they worry about each other."

"Do they KILL EACH OTHER TOO, DIB? HUH? THEN MAYBE ZIM SHOULD THROW US INTO THAT SUN OVER THERE, LIKE THE GOOD FRIENDS WE ARE!"

The ship jerked in direction again, blasting towards a bright sun in the distance.

"No no no! Zim!" Dib scrambled over to the controls and yanked hard on the steering stick. Nothing happened. Zim was totally controlling the ship. He groaned, dug his nails between where Zim's pak was connected to the ship and pulled.

"Stop that!"

Dib pressed a foot against the glass for leverage and yanked hard. The connection popped out and Dib was sent falling back into his seat.

He breathed heavily, flicking the steering in the general direction of their destination and warily eyed the device in his hands. The pak didn't have any built-in speakers, leaving Zim voiceless for now. He wondered if it would help to leave Zim like this for a while to cool off, or if that would just make the alien angrier.

Making his decision, he propped his feet on the dashboard and leaned back. He'd give Zim some time to cool off and he'd take advantage of the silence to get some sleep. He was annoyed with the alien, but he couldn't really blame him considering the circumstances.

Five days... This might be the craziest thing Dib Membrane had ever done, but it was going to happen.

x

His heart was pounding and his hands were sweating. He carefully wiped his hands on his coat, careful not to drop the pak he held. He'd hooked up a camera and cheap speaker to it, so Zim could see and talk to him during this endeavor.

"Stop that, you're shaking the camera," growled Zim.

"Shhh!" Dib tried to stifle the speaker against his shirt.

He held his breath, looking around for any signs they'd been noticed. Nothing. He was currently crouched behind a large piece of alien machinery, readying himself to make a dash across the empty expanse of the room ahead of him, deeper into the building.

"This is insane," he muttered under his breath, his eyes locked onto an Irken worker leaving the room.

"Too late to turn back now, Dib-thing," replied Zim.

The door slid shut as the Irken worker left and Dib dashed across the room, ignoring the irritated sounds Zim made as he was thoroughly jostled. He activated the next door and ran through, quickly hiding again behind some large tubes.

Dib sank down against the wall, shaking slightly from the adrenaline. He could hardly believe he'd made it so far unnoticed. Dib took a deep breath of air and held it for a moment before slowly breathing out, willing his body to calm down.

"Now is not the time for a nap, human," hissed Zim lowly.

"F-fine. Where to now?"

"Keep going, there should be an elevator further in."

They continued on, both alert for signs of workers. Dib slipped between floor-mounted tubes, peeking out for signs of movement before running to the next one.

Soon the empty tubes that lined the walls were replaced with occupied ones, and Dib couldn't help but stare in fascination.

Smeets. That's what Zim called them. Tiny little Irken babies with their thin limbs and short antenna that swayed lightly in their liquid-filled tubes.

A rare, gentle smile tugged at the human's lips. He was undoubtedly the first human to ever see an Irken smeetery. Too bad no one would ever believe him if he told them.

A flash of green caught his eye and he quickly hid as an Irken entered the room from a side door and busied themselves at a nearby control panel. Dib held his breath and silently sweated over the soft whirr Zim's pak was making, but the working Irken didn't appear to notice.

After a few minutes the Irken walked over to another control panel further away, and Dib settled in to wait for the coast to be clear.

A thought occurred to him.

"Hey Zim," he whispered, "Why do we have to use a smeet anyway? Couldn't we just overpower someone like this guy and use his body instead?"

Zim made a loud, irritated noise before replying. "Don't you think I would have suggested that, instead of travelling halfway across the universe to break into one of the most remote, heavily guarded facilities in existence?"

'Well, no,' thought Dib inwardly, but kept his mouth shut. The worker appeared to be thoroughly absorbed in their work, so Dib slipped out and silently crept further into the massive room.

"It simply wouldn't work. Irkens exist both in their meat-brains and their paks. If you put my pak on another Irken, the meat-brain would fight with Zim's pak until one of us is destroyed. I need a blank slate to add my pak to."

"I see," Dib made a mental note to write this down the next time he had a free moment. Zim didn't normally give a lot of information about how Irkens work.

"Elevator on your left, Dib."

"Got it."

Dib tapped the touchscreen to take him down to the next level, having become pretty competent with Irken technology after many hacking attempts on Zim's base.

"Be careful down here, human, there will be more guards here."

"You do worry about me," Dib teased.

"Zim does not! I just require your assistance temporarily. And... Friends try not to get the other one killed, isn't that right Dib?" Zim said the last part mockingly.

"Yeah, yeah," Dib crouched as the elevator door slid open and darted out when he saw the coast was clear.

The tubes on the lower floor were stored lengthwise in slots, with a fluorescent symbol to indicate their status. After a few moments, one changed into a smiley face and lit up in green. A long robotic arm deftly latched onto the tube and pulled it out.

"This one?" He asked Zim quietly.

"Hmmm," Zim watched as the tube was broken open and the smeet went crashing to the floor. "No, not this one."

"What, seriously Zim?" Dib hissed. "Do you want a new body or not?"

"I don't like that one!" The alien hissed back. "It looks like it was cloned from Skoodge!"

Dib groaned as the robot arm attached a pak to the smeet and zapped it to life.

"We don't have time to be picky, Zim! We're going to get caught if we stay here too long!"

"Patience, Dib-thing," the alien replied.

More tubes lit up, and the pair watched each time as the smeet was broken out of its glass chamber and Dib became progressively more on edge as Zim discounted each one.

 _"The right antenna is bent."_

 _"Look at the size of that head! It's bigger than yours!"_

 _"It's just not... ZIM enough!"_

"Come on, Zim, pick one or I'll pick one for you!"

"You can't rush this! I need the best body for Zim!"

"You're not going to have ANY body if you take any longer!"

"Ah!"

Dib started and turned, meeting the gaze of a wide-eyed Irken worker with his own look of surprise.

"Intruder!" It squeaked, looking incredibly frightened.

"Nonono-!" Dib started, but the Irken turned and raced off in the other direction.

"Fuck," he hissed under his breath. They were out of time.

Dib turned back as the robot arm pulled another tube from the wall and he made his decision. He ran forward as the tube was broken open and the smeet fell to the floor, ignoring Zim's sudden bursts of protest as the alien realized what was happening.

He ripped off the camera and speakers and slammed the pak into the little smeet before the robot arm could place its own.

The arm paused, seemingly confused, but it moved onto the next stage regardless. After a painful-looking zap of electricity, the smeet, Zim, opened his eyes. The sounds of approaching Irkens became louder.

"Come on!" Dib turned to run, then changed his mind and grabbed Zim first, pulling it out of the robot arm's grasp just after clothing the Irken in a pink tunic. There was no way the alien would be able to keep up on those tiny legs.

He raced through the building, dodging zaps from a group of guards expertly. Up the elevator and through more rooms, running past more surprised Irkens and knocking over anyone who tried to block his way.

They reached the exit and quickly found the Voot. Dib tossed Zim in unceremoniously before climbing in himself. The alien started up the ship and they blasted away from the surface of the smeetery.

It was quiet save for the hum of the ship's engines and the harsh breathing as human and alien calmed down.

"Heh, we did it," chuckled Dib, a grin on his face.

Zim turned to glare at him and Dib tried not to laugh at the little alien with such a fierce expression.

"I don't like this one!" Zim screeched.

"Aw come on Zim, it's not bad!"

"It's TINY! It's even smaller than Zim was as a smeet!"

"You'll grow. Uh, probably?" Dib couldn't help it, he laughed.

"ARGHH!" Zim leapt from his chair and started pelting Dib with punches, though that didn't have much of an effect. A tiny newborn smeet didn't have a whole lot of strength.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Dib held his hands up in surrender. "Let's go home now, alright?"

Zim huffed and turned back to the controls and Dib settled in for the slightly more cramped trip home. He eyed the Irken's twitching antenna from his seat behind the control chair and decided not to mention the curliness of them.

That could wait.


End file.
